The National Broadband Conspiracy Plan

Spending the rainy third day of a long weekend in front of the television sure makes one think weird thoughts. It occurred to me yesterday while flipping through my 800 channels of broadcast nonsense and catching glimpses of the 911-Truthers still making their case that we inflicted the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on ourselves — we being the guv’ment — and that the same guv’ment intentionally breached the levees in New Orleans the day after Katrina to protect middle-class white neighborhoods, that the conspiracy theorists have been slow on the uptake in this whole National Broadband Plan thing.

Oh, Americans for Prosperity has been out there claiming the administration is trying to take over the Internet. But that’s not juicy enough. There must be more to it. Don’t they see the real danger? Shouldn’t the very idea of political leaders who seem overly eager to reach all the unserved and underserved pockets of America with high-speed connections into their homes raise immediate questions in a conspiracy theorist’s mind? Why so enthusiastic about getting all these folks connected and bringing them into the Internet fold? Broadband Truthers know that politicians and regulators are in cahoots and don’t really want people everywhere to communicate with each other.

People who live in remote areas often chose to live there for whatever reasons they are free to keep to themselves. But the powers-that-be have convinced them they need this high-bandwidth link into their homes and automobiles and bib overalls. Why? What do they really want?

Surely it is because the Feds want to listen in, no? They want to track everyone’s communications. They want to spy on us. They want to feed us propaganda. Maybe even run experiments.

As paranoid as the public is these days about the motives of those in government—and perhaps the underworld cabal of corporate executives who make them dance—you’d think someone would ask this question.

C’mon guys, if you were able to out the evil scientist who convinced our leaders to fluoridate our water in order to achieve mind control over its unruly citizens, surely you can uncover the truth behind the National Broadband Plan. Just follow the money. All $7.2 billion of it. And let the fun begin.

E-mail me at heyBOSS@vpico.com.